My Eyelids Weigh 43,851 Lbs

True story.

And I thought the extremely large number I got when I stepped on the scale was due to the size of my butt. Glad to find out it's actually the weight of my eyelids. {Now pass me a doughnut.}

I can't remember being this tired in a long time.

Thinking about today and what lies ahead of me just makes it worse.

Here's what my day today looks like:

5:30 wake up

6:00 wake kids up as I'm walking out the door {we carpool in the mornings}

6:30AM - 5PM work. work. more work. and a little more work.

(did you do the math for that? cause that's more than an 8 hour work day-shoot me) 

5-5:30 pick up kids from school, get home, changed, shove some food in their mouths, and to the softball field by 5:30

6:00-7:15ish softball game

7:30-8:30 baths, homework, official dinner, reading, bedtime

8:30-9:15 say hello, goodbye, give me a hug and a kiss to husband before he leaves for work

9:15-10ish try my best to read my book cause it keeps me sane/fight off sleep.

See what I mean?

Exhuasted.

But guess what happened the other night?

My daughter ran with me.

She kept up with me the whole time and did awesome.

I was pretty proud. It was a great little bonding experience.

At one point, I gave her a high five as we were running and you know what she said? I quote, "I never give up. If I fail, I just try again. And push harder."

I mean, really?! How awesome is that kid?

Then, when we got home, she got in the bathtub and taped her Bible verse to the shower curtain so that she could learn it while she was in the tub.

Genius I tell ya.

just sayin. stole this pic from here.

Another pic I stole is from Throwback Thursday.

I stole this from my refrigerator.

This is a picture that only a mother could love....I mean, check out that mean muggin' face!!

She's gonna kill me for that when she's older.

Happy Thursday Peeps!

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Hey y'all, heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy

See that bandwagon over there?

I guess it's time I jump on it.

{sings song "jump on it, jump on it"}

I have recently gotten a good bit of new followers (hey y'all) so I thought we should all just sit around and talk for a bit.

So come on over to my house  pull up a computer and a glass of jager coffee and let's talk.

And when I say "let's talk", I kind of mean "let's talk about me".

If you really knew me, you'd know that:

I am a perfectionist.

I make my bed EVERY SINGLE DAY. And actually, when I say that, I really mean that my husband makes our bed every single day. He loathes it, I know, but he also knows that I can't stand to come home to an unmade bed. And since as I am getting out of bed, he is getting in the bed (he works nights), he has developed the habit of making it. I'm pretty sure in his previous bachelor pad there was NEVER a bed made, like ever. #teachinganolddognewtricks

It's kind of a weird thing, I mean, even when I wash the sheets, I make the bed so you can't tell the sheets are gone.

I have recently developed a love for cooking and trying new recipes. Thank you blogging and pinterest.

I love to workout.

I also love to eat. Like really bad food. This completely overrides the previous mention about working out.

#Ispeakinhashtagsalot

It's kind of an inside joke with my friends. Cause you can make anything into a hashtag and it becomes slightly funnier. My husband thinks it's ridiculous. But we think we are cool.

I am scared to death of mice. Like for reals, if you want to scare me, put a mouse in my house and I will put it up for sale faster than you can say "You're a sissy".

I'm never ever sarcastic. Like ever. I'm never a smart a$$ either.

I die when I see bad grammer. Or the word "ain't".

In another life, I would like to be a coach. And a dentist. And a realtor. And a stay at home mom.

Apparently, I am not good at making decisions. No, but actually, I am. I just want to be a professional everything so it's hard for me to decide on one thing. Hence the whole I went back to college to get a second degree and change my entire career path thing.

I'm loud. Like really really in-your-face-shut-the-frak-up kind of loud.

My kids inherited this trait from me. #poorFH

I'm an annoying morning person. Like jump on the bed and dance around the room even though it's 5AM kind of morning person.

I kind of love school. So I guess I'm a nerd. Or maybe I just heard the phrase "the more you know, the more you grow" too much. Or maybe I just like money so I want to learn so I can make more money. Either way.

I have twins. (In case you've been living under a rock somewhere.)

Yes, they were a surprise. I wasn't planning for one and I got two. They are expensive. And fun. And I wouldn't cry if I had a second set of them. {although my husband and my bank account would.}

I luuuuuurrrrveee emails. And blog comments. And facebook and instagram. And I'm trying to love twitter but I just don't really get it because I feel like I'm talking to myself.

I live in a neighborhood with old people so I'm trying to get all my friends to buy houses by me. It's a work in progress.

My mom is the coolest person that I know. She dresses so cute that most people think I'm adopted.

I can pick out clothes better than Stacy from What Not To Wear. Okay, not so much better but at least as good as....the problem is, I can't wear them. #fatgirlproblems I've been known to assist my friends in picking out their wardrobes. So, basically, I'm a good shopping friend.

I'm a huge Memphis Tigers fan.

I am competitive. I mean like REALLY competitive. Anything you can do, I can do better. Just ask my husband. He'll tell you about how I drive him crazy.

I make lists. Like a lot.

People that work with me think that I'm quiet. People that don't work with me and actually know me think this is completely hilarious. I am far from quiet.

I live out in the country. Way too far from Target. My husband insists that we have saved a ton of money since he moved me away from Target. I disagree because now when I actually get to one, I have to make up for lost time.

I have baby fever. Actually, at this point, it's more like baby pneumonia. I'm working on getting FH sick with this too. Surely it's contagious, right?!

I think that every blog post needs pictures. But I blog at work so I don't always have time for pictures. So sue me.

Speaking of pictures, I think that school pictures are the worst and I never really buy them. I just take pictures of them.

**please ignore my thumb**

You know those claw machines, where you win those stuffed animals?

I am a freaking ninja at them and can win them with my eyes closed. No, but really.

**won this yesterday. not the kid, the bear**



My kids are hilarious. I'm convinced that we have more fun than the average family. If you disagree, and you think your family has more fun, can we please be friends? There's a house beside me that's for sale....just sayin.

My husband used to work for Chipendales is a total studmuffin.

I can't see to drive at night. So if you ever ride with me at night, remind me to put my glasses on. Or if it's raining. Actually, if it's raining, you should probably just go ahead and offer to drive.

I really like to be in charge. In other words, I'm kind of bossy.

I LOVE to read. Especially series. If you know a good book that you just couldn't live without reading, please tell me! Hunger Games-ish, Harry Potter-ish, anything vampire-ish, romatic-ish, 50 Shades of Grey.......just give me a book, and my husband a football game to watch and we can sit for hours.

Taco Bell is my BFF.

I love my husband more than the average person. It's kind of annoying I'm sure. But I love it. I just realize that I've been blessed with him so I try to never take him for granted.

Ok, enough about me. Tell me about you.

{And please don't make me look like a fool by not getting any comments.} Leave me a comment to say hi. Tell me how your family is cooler than mine or how you can beat me in a race {them's fighting words right there}.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and checking me out. 

Happy Tuesday Fruitcakes!

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Weekend Update

Holy heck I'm sleepy.

What an exhausting and quick weekend.

Friday night, we went to K&A's school football game so they could cheer. Every year they let the little kids cheer during halftime of one game while the boys play flag football.

The girls always love it!

Sorry for the evil red eyes they have...but that's what I get for using my iphone for pics. :)

Saturday morning I had to work. {Shoot me in the head.}

Only half a day though, so that wasn't too bad.

Then FH&I did a little shopping and eating and TV catching up.

He bought me flowers for the front porch! And last night we added pumpkins.

Sunday morning it was back to work.

I took a nap after working and woke up GRUUUUMPY.

I seriously wanted to do nothing but catch up on sleep but it wasn't happening.

Then, to make matters worse, I woke up to not 1, but 3 fb friends announcing that they were knocked up.

#Bitterpartyofone

While I am so excited for each of them, it just made it all the more real that I am, in fact, not knocked up. But I am very aware that what is meant to be will be. :)

Oh ANNNND how freaking cute are these mini boots that I bought for a baby shower?

Poor K&A got the wrong idea when they came home and found these jokers sitting on the counter. Haha

Sunday afternoon also involved a trip to Old Navy and eating at Buffalo Wild Wings. Which perked me up a lot.

Good ole FH...he knows that all I need is food and retail therapy to get me in a better mood.

Yogurt helps too!

I finished Sunday off right with continuing on my couch to 10K program. I'm only on week 2 but I am loving it so far!

And then a little cleaning, cooking, and getting paid to do the laundry.

I love when I find money in the dryer! Even though I'm pretty sure it was my money in the first place, it still felt good to find it.

You know what else felt good?

Reading this facebook status from my husband.

Who NEVER updates his fb status.

Let me rephrase what I said earlier. Food, retail therapy, and fb shout-outs. Those are the ways to my heart.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

Now let's get this last week of September over with so I can go back to real life where I'm not working my butt off!

Happy Monday Peeps!



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Free Stuff

You should go here to participate in a giveaway that I am taking part in. Don't ask questions, just do it.

Hope you all are having a fun weekend.

While I'm stuck at work.

Have a little extra fun for me puhlease. 

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Dear Friday,

Dear weekend, it's really hard to get excited about your existence since I will be working during you. I will make up for it when I spend the overtime pay though, promise.

Dear Big Brother, I have made it two days after your finale and still don't know who won. I have no clue how I have managed to go without finding out. I'm trying so hard to stay in the dark until I can watch the finale this weekend. I owe this to busy schedules. Or maybe I just don't want it to end so I am okay with putting it off forever.

Dear husband, forget the rings and the I Do. You should feel more loved than ever that I have waited so that I can watch Big Brother. If that's not true love then I don't know what is.

Dear work, I'm pretty sure that next year, I am going to have to schedule maternity leave during September. I swear this has NOTHING to do with the fact that you make me work my butt off during this month every year. It is clearly just a coincidence.

Dear freezer, I'm sorry my husband left a soda in the ice maker. Apparently he forgot that it was soda and not beer since it exploded. Mt Dew ice anyone??

Dear couch to 10K app, I have no idea that you only required me to run 3 days a week. I can totally handle that. I thought you wanted me to run every day. Whew, what a relief. Now I can finally get past the first week and not feel like a failure.

Dear knees, please run with me and don't give me any BS. I would like a 13.1 sticker on my car before I'm like 90. If you could cooporate, that would be great. And if you at least just give me a royal effort and don't whine too much. I'll just go buy us one of those dang stickers. No one has to know, just keep it between you and me. We can totally pencil in "psyche" under the 13.1 real tiny like. But first we should make sure that is how you actually spell that word. #stepintothe80s

Dear emails, can't you just answer yourself??

Happy Friday homies!

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I Believe in....

I believe the children are our future....oh wait, I think I stole that one from a song.

I believe in naps at work. Especially while you are super busy. And people that don't work hard should have to do something physical and tortureous during this time.

I believe in blogging. Dang, I love me some blogging. And I love reading blogs. It might have something to do with my inner stalker. I have no idea why I love it so much.

I believe in best friends. Like really really good best friends.

I believe in husbands. Like outstanding amazing husbands that finally after all those crappy years of just "being", they finally bring you a happily ever after and teach you what that is all about. Yeah, I have one and he's great.

I believe in running in capris. Mainly because I don't want to start any fires with my legs rubbing together.

I believe in tennis shoes and tshirts at work.

I believe in heatlhy smoothies. Cause you can blend up all sorts of good for you junk and drink it, not even tasting chunky stuff. I don't believe in chunks.

I believe in texting and emailing. I do not believe in phone calls. My voicemail should say "hang up and text me". True story.

I believe in checking facebook and instagram first thing when I wake up, before actually getting out of bed. Because something just might have happened since I last checked it right before going to sleep. #youneverknow

I believe in laughing at myself.

I believe in Red Bull, day or night. Super sized.

I believe I better get back to work since I have at least 4,572, 390 emails waiting on me.

What do you believe in?

Join the linkup here.

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Weekend Update

Since a picture is worth 1,000 words and I don't have much time to blog today, here's our weekend in pictures!

First up, field day at the girls' school.

Next, volleyball practice Saturday morning.

Tailgating at the Memphis game Saturday afternoon. We had a blast and can't wait to do it again! And we have finally convinced the girls that going to a football game with us is actually fun.

They made friends with a police man.

had lots of bonding time with some girlfriends

were mesmerized at how long it took to grill hot dogs on a tiny grill.

showed that they are a tiny bit gangsta

and even watched a tiny bit of football

FH had fun too talking with his BFF. I'm hoping they aren't holding hands but in this pic it kind of looks like they are.....

Sunday, we did a whole bunch of nothing.

grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, grass cutting by FH while I napped, Big Brother watching.

Oh yeah, and FH brought me home this movie, which goes to show that he is SO CLOSE to jumping on the baby wagon.

and he grilled out some AMAZING pork chops too.

It was a great weekend, I just hate it's over. I am going to be super busy at work this week and this coming weekend so I'm glad we had such a relaxing time.

And now, I will leave you with a K&A video. One child is singing and the other child is pouting. You know, because they both want to hog the camera. That's just how they roll.

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My Dearest Friday

Sometimes I wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy.

It's true.

We even kind of look alike.

No, but seriously, not so much.

I did however wake up feeling a little saucy {whatever that means} this morning and look at me now, writing a second post today.

My husband is gonna be so proud.

Let's link up for Friday Letters.



  Dear gentlemen of Walmart, ok so maybe it's a tad bit chilly outside and it might even be sprinkling and I just happen to have on a white tshirt but there is really nothing to see here. Move along {and by move along I do NOT mean follow me into the frozen food section}. Dear Tigers, can we please get a W this weekend? I mean, my blood runs blue, my house has Tigers decorations on it, I'm putting my kids up for adoption next time I see them in orange. I'm really not sure what else you want from me.....Dear TN fans, it's just not cool the way you act all rednecky and put your bright orange with your camo. I'm just not a fan. Love you long time but don't come to my house talking about all this GBO nonsense. {love you husband} Dear husband, I know that when I go shopping now, you have more than one TV turned on football games and that you also have the radio turned on. I'm not mad at you for making our electric bill go up as long as you aren't mad at me for shopping the entire time you watch football. Dear overtime paycheck, I just can't wait to get you. Get in my wallet! Dear every single cute baby within a 25 or 30 mile radius, could you please slap some little baby cuteness my husband's way? I'm trying to convince him that it's time to get a new one of you and it's not like I can run to the store and just bring ya home on my own cause I totally would.   When, glad I got all that off my chest. Pin It Now!

Stick A Fork in Me

Cause I'm sooooo over this month.

I am alive btw, in case you noticed that I am missing in action lately.

If you didn't notice, well then thanks a lot for not giving a ... caring.

It's year end at work.

And to say I'm swamped is a complete understatement.

But cheers to overtime pay and racking up extra vacation time.

I am secretly spending all my extra money in my mind while I am slaving away at work. And not blogging.

I hate that I haven't had time to blog.
I mean, my life is freaking important and needs to be documented.

Okay, well, not so much, but I like to pretend like it anways.

So, since we haven't hung out in awhile, let's catch up.

First off, the dentist.

Enough said.

I hate the dentist.

And he got to stick his dirty little fingers entire hands, plus his tools, plus his assistant's hands and her squirty and sucky tools all up in my grill this week.

I couldn't breathe. I thought I might vomit in their faces, but I figured it wasn't a good idea since one held a mini drill and the other had my lifeline at the moment (the squirty/sucky duo).

My filling fell out and this past weekend it went into turbo drive with the toothache. That's what landed me in the hot chair.

Needless to say, I am better now.

My bank account suffered a little, but no more pain.

I still can't believe I actually pay the man to torture me, but whatevs.

Homecoming week.

This week is like the best week of the year for my kids.

And pretty great for me too since homework is kept to a minimum.

We don't go ALL OUT with dressing up.

I learned early on that I couldn't keep up with the mommas that are doctors during the day and freaking betty crocker/betty seweverythingperfect by night nor will I spend a bajillion dollars on a costume for my kids to wear one day.

But we had fun.

The best day was fairy tale day.

The three little pigs.

My girls and their BFF, who just so happens to be my BFF's daughter. Funny how that works out, huh?

I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that we forced them to be friends at an early age.

Have you ever seen any cuter pigs?!

You can see the third pig here.

She was the pig that built her house of sticks.

Mine built their house of brick...

and a house built with straw...

not to be confused with grass from our backyard or the illegal substance that you think that looks like.

And then, since we thought the straw looked kind of sketchy, the BFF had the great idea of sending her with a straw, as in a drinking straw.

She took both.

Don't judge us, we were trying to be creative.

I guess one of "those moms" would have gone out and got her some real straw, but luckily I'm not one of "those moms" so this worked!

They even had a fun time as little pigs going weeeee weeeee weeeee all the way to school.
check out that youtube video here.

I've been feeling like this a lot lately:

That pretty much wraps up my Inspire Me Healthy post for Thursday. Glad I got caught up on that.

I also lived on the edge a little this week by almost running out of gas:

getting all the way down to 4 miles til empty.

And letting my kids fix their own dinner while I was comatose from the dentist:

This might actually start happening a little more often. I mean how awesome does that grilled cheese look?

Please ignore the christmas plate that was used.

We use those all year around. I'm not really sure where they found that.

So, there you go.

That sums up my week.

Now, I have tons of work to do before I can get out of here for the freaking weekend.

And after reading this post, if you would like to mail me my mom of the year award, please email me for my address.

K, thanks.

Happy friday peeps.

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Weekend Update

Monday.

Yuck.

Our weekend started out early on Friday.

I got off work at noon so I could go shopping.

I got some cute stuff so that was a great way to start off the weekend.

Then it was off to celebrate my friend's 30th birthday.

We had a great time.

And FH even took off work so he could go.

I LOOOOOOOVE when FH is off work on a Friday night, it makes our weekend seem so much longer.

I realized Saturday that I didn't take any pics. Blogger fail.

It's probably better that way though, we had lots of fun and don't need evidence.

Saturday I went to the Germantown Festival with two friends while FH slept/watched football in bed.

It was so much fun, the weather was beautiful, and I got a few great items!

I got this Memphis flag for our front yard. I've been looking for one of these and they had about a million to choose from.

I got this "Y" for my front door which I am in love with. I have been searching and searching for one of these and after looking at a ton on Saturday, I decided on this one. Love how it looks on our red door.

I also got some homeade pickles. Yum!!!

Luckily FH hates pickes so the girls and I have these all to ourselves.

I also bought a few new nail polishes for us gals. Can't pass up a good sale.....and these puppies were on sale for $0.99 each!

Saturday night was date night for us.

We went to the new Applebees in our little bitty ole town.

And let me tell you, if you live near us, do NOT go there.

Or rather, order your food to go {and check your order before you leave}.

Our poor waitress, I'm pretty sure they never trained her.

The food was excellent, but she was just horrible.

I almost even complained and I NEVER do that.

We were told to expect bad service, but we were expecting that horrible of a service!

Glad the food was good though!

Sunday, on how I love sunday funday.

The girls came home early so we could grill out.

Of course, we are making up for loss time by grilling out every single weekend since we couldn't when we lived in an apartment.

We also spent a good amount of time planning for the week and grocery shopping. I am loving our new system of sitting down and planning out the week's menu and then making a list and sticking to it.

We have barely eaten out any in the last month or two and if you know us then you know that is huge!

Well, eaten out during the week, I mean.

Weekends are a different story.

I am loving the money we are saving on eating out, but I am NOT loving the HUGE amount of dishes that we have nowadays.

K&A sent me pics they made from their dad's phone.

It's some kind of old person app.

And I about died laughing.

They make much cuter little girls than they do old ladies.

Gosh, I hope that is no indication of how I will look when I get old.

I think I will stay away from that app.....I'll just be surprised when I get older(er).

All in all, it was a great weekend.

Even if my husband does like to dress in this ugly orange color.

I did finish off the weekend with a HORRIBLE toothache.

Actually I guess I still have it so I'm starting off this week with it too.

I need to go to the dentist, but let's be honest, I HATE the dentist.

Happy Monday peeps! :)

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