The Adventures of Super Breast Woman

I may not always sleep at nighttime, but when I do, I make sure that it's for only 2 consecutive hours at a time. -Super Breast Woman

Have you ever noticed that all hard working humans/creatures/superheroes do their best work at night while everyone else is sleeping? Santa and his elves, the toothfairy, mice (just not in my house hopefully). and breastfeeding moms all have this is common.

Like a thief in the night, I creep quietly around.
The only sound you will hear at my house is the quiet pumping of the breast pump.
Up and down, up and down.
With my night vision eyes and my cat like reflexes, it's a wonder I get around the house.
Not wanting to wake anyone up, I never turn on many lights.
If someone leaves something on the floor that is unexpected, it will kill me.
I wear my cape on my chest, in the form of two bottles,
If only they would stay there with a hands free device.

It's so easy to be productive in the middle of the night, if only I could vacuum without waking anyone up. With Super Breast Woman in your house, it's no surprise if you go to bed with a full laundry hamper but wake up to clean, folded clothes.
The dishes may be done (except in our house because this is SuperFH's job) and dinner could magically be in the crockpot.

Your books could be packed all neat in your backpack and the stockings hung on the chimney with care. In fact, super breast woman might be tempted to finish up your homework for you, but she will resist for the love of all things that are proper.

Breakfast will be ready when you wake up and your clothes will be ironed.
Don't be fooled if Super Breast Woman is sleeping in the recliner, with drool running down her face.
It doesn't mean she actually went to bed last night, it just means she is resting her eyes until
her minions wake up.
Just wait about 5 more minutes and her "It's time to pump again!" alarm will surely sound.
Time to start over, do it all again.
Practice makes perfect and pumping liquid gold will make the baby grow.

And don't worry, it's okay to ask "Mom, did you actually go to sleep at all last night?"
She may be a superhero, but she likes that you notice all her nighttime hard work.

Until next time Super Breast Woman, go back to saving the world, 2 ounces at a time.

I may or may not be delirious, but I felt like it was time for a not so serious post. :) Pin It Now!