Abnormal Children

It's Halloween.
And I'm not excited.
You want to know why?
Well, duh, of course you do.
I'm not gonna dress like a hooker on Halloween.
I don't have the figure for it.
Nor do I ever want to spend the money on an outfit I will wear one night.
Horrible, I know.
Cheap, I know.
Lame, I know.
Thank goodness I have kids now so I usually don't have to dress up.
I swear, I'm not a party pooper.
I just am not a big Halloween person.
We don't even get a day off work for this holiday.
And I work for the government so I get every holiday there is.
You know why else this holiday is bad for me?
My kids are abnormal.
They barely eat candy.
I'm still waiting on the maternity test because it's not possible that I'm their real birth Mom.
Although I kind of remember pushing those jokers out. #doubletrouble
My husband and I are normal. Meaning we LOOOOVE candy.
So they give it all to us.
We are like their pimps and they go out knocking on doors for candy, but they have to give 95% of their goods to us for payment.
Payment for room and board of course. And sometimes food.
Not to mention, why is Halloween on a Wednesday night?
Do you really think kids can get all hyped up on sugar and freaked out from seeing monsters and ghosts and then go to bed on time?
I.Think.Not.
And by "the kids", I mean my husband and I.
You know what I do love though?
Awesome blog comments.
Yesterday's blog got me some love from ya'll and it made my day.
Funny how you never know how your blog will be percepted {is that a word?} until you hit publish.
And then you get comments, or you get none at all. {Which is a HUGE bummer. Everyone loves comments.}
One more thing I love?
LinkUps.
My BFF and I are finally gonna host one.
It starts tomorrow.
We want you to blog about how you got your blog name.
Let's play Name That Blog....
We also want you to sing "Same my name, same my name" while you are typing that blog. Yes, it's actually a requirement.
You should probably also throw in some Halloween pictures and stories in the same blog. But not cause that has anything to do with the link party, but because I want to see your costumes.
So come back tomorrow and link up with us.
You should probably tweet about this link up too. Mainly just because I love saying "Tweet this". It just sounds fun.
I swear there will even be a button and a linky thing, once she teaches me how to do all that.
Happy Halloween Hookers. Don't act like you aren't dressing up like one tonight, cause I bet you are. #Imjustjealous #hatersgonnahate Pin It Now!

Keeping Up with the Blogger Joneses

Blogger problems 101.

Do you ever feel like after reading your favorite blogs that you need to take money out of your retirement so that you can afford all the cute stuff?
That you must immediately shop online and have that cute top/necklace/shoes/purse/house/boat/etc?
That you should run 100 miles while carrying your own child on your shoulders, knitting a sweater, making biscuits from scratch while teaching your kids homeschool and getting them into Harvard all at once?

These are blogger problems.

Oh and my favorite: do you ever want to comment on someone's blog and say something along the lines of "No, but seriously, we are best friends. You might not know it yet, but really, we are." #stalkersanonymous

I don't think this is because bloggers only potray the good side of things. I follow many blogs that give you the good, bad, and the ugly. I think the problem is that I am reading from the experts. Like the cutest, most fashionable girls who have the perfect clothes are writing style blogs, cause that's what they are good at. The freaking crafty women {bitter party of one} are writing all about their amazing I-just-saw-this-on-Pinterest-and-had-to-do-it-one-million-times-better projects. And the workout freaks {I say this strictly out of love} are writing about working out while they are jogging on the treadmill.

I say all this just to see who can relate....not because I hate bloggers. I LOVE ALL OF THEM!!! I think blogging is great and I get great motivation, ideas, and friendship from many blogs, but it's just hard not to compare your blog {and life} to all the blogs you read.

For instance,

my outfits NEVER look like this,

they usually look more like this:

inspiration:college student {even though I'm not one}

My meals that I cook never look like this,

they look like this:

still taste yummy though!!! {that's what really counts!}

just kidding about this last one.

I totally stole that pic. I'm not sure where though so sorry, I can't give credit.

You know what else I want to know about bloggers? How does something interesting happen in your life every.single.day?

Some mornings, I come in to work wanting to blog and I think, I really have nothing to say.

I did nothing interesting last night.

There's no new stories to tell.

Last night, however, I did have a few fun things to tell you about.

First off, we rolled coins.

FH keeps all his change in a jar and I wanted to see how much it added up to. #helloextrashoppingmoney

I put the kids to work.

The funniest part of this is that I let everyone write down a guess as to how much money we had. Here are the totals:

Brooklyn and Kate: somewhere in the $800s #Iwish

Alex: $422

FH: $100

Yours truly: $165

And the grand total was..........{wait for it} $147.50.

I'd say that was totally worth the time {and small math lesson} that we spent.

You know what else happened last night?

FH did the dishes and this is what it looked like.

Proof that you can tell when a man does dishes.

I love this stack of dishes.

It is so his personality.

Like he was bound and determined to make them all fit and he was successful.

You can imagine how challenging this was to remove each piece to put away.

Now, there's my night along with a nice bath and reading a book, cooking dinner, watching a movie. Thank goodness for no homework.

Maybe my life isn't as exciting as all the Joneses of the blogging world, but I sure do love it.

Now, I'm off to online shop to get this shirt I just saw on a blog that I just have to have......kidding. totally. {kind of}

Happy Tuesday Lover Faces!

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Calling Stacey and Clinton

I love days when I wear a tshirt and jeans to work. {which is like 75% of the time} It's not my fault they specifically told me business casual when I started working here......lots of people dress down like me.

Okay, well mainly because we have a lot of students, and I'm not exactly a student....but that's not the point, is it?

I particularly love when I come to work in a sweatshirt and jeans and then I remember I have a meeting that day. Hmmm. That stinks. But it's even worse when I walk into said meeting and realize it is not a teleconference with people all over the world like I previously thought.....but a VIDEO conference. Awesome.

I am counting the days until Stacy and Clinton show up at my office with my $5,000 giftcard. I will gladly spend their money, and I already know all the rules.

The only thing I would be worried about is the camera adding 10 lbs. Is that really true you think? I'm pretty sure that it adds like 20 lbs to me, and so does every single mirror that I look in. It's a conspiracy. Mirrors only really worked when I was in college and about 456 lbs lighter.

I'm sure the dysfunctional mirrors have nothing to do with desserts like this....

Nope. Not related at all.

You know what else I love?

Blogging.

In other words, writing everything down and pretending like lots of people care. Isn't that what blogging's all about? Thought so.

I love the blogging community. I have met so many people in this little online world. And by met, of course I mean stalked. Cause that's what it's all about. Taking facebook stalking to a whole new level.

And sharing secrets online. Cause if anyone can keep secrets, it's you. I know all my secrets stay between us......

So, tell me. What are you loving lately?

I'm linking up here, but for some reason I can't get the button to work....maybe I shouldn't love blogging so much cause apparently I'm not so great at the technical side.....
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The unthinkable has happened

Yep. You heard it here first. I am guilty. Guilty of almost an entire weekend with almost zero pictures. I would like to blame it on the 4,657,391 pain pills that I took this weekend. No, I'm not a junkie, I'm just patiently dying of pain waiting on a root canal.

It was a great weekend though. Friday night I got to party with my all time favorite friends. Love them lots.

Saturday I got to shop, like a lot. What girl doesn't love that?

Sunday, there may or may not have been more shopping involved. And then some lazy Sunday Funday action with the husband.

All too quickly it is back to the grind at work. Praying that Thursday gets here ASAP so I can stop complaining 24/7 about hurting!!

How was your weekend??

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I think I see a lot of Lawbreakers tonight

Magic Mike, you get me every time. And apparently, you have this effect on all the women. the advertisement for the DVD came on last night and my 9 year old said "oh, I'm gonna watch that movie"
me:"have you lost your mind? no you aren't. cause I'm hiding that movie once I buy it."

Guess what happened last night? Ya'll ain't gonna believe this shift.
{Husband hangs head in shame.} First thing that my husband said this morning was "Am I gonna be publically humilated on your blog today?" why yes, yes you are. #loveyou

So first off, let's start with one of my girls falling asleep at 7 last night. Hallelujah. We avoided the nightly bedtime struggle.
I was all in planning mode on how to figure out how to get the other one to bed early too #alonetimewiththehusband but then a tornado came. great timing weather man. I appreciate you informing us of dangerous weather and wanting to save our lives and all, but Survivor was on and I was a woman on a mission. A mission that failed since A was scared of the storm and couldn't fall asleep.

But the real fun #sarcasm part of the night was after FH left for work. About 20 minutes later, he called to tell me that there was a car parked outside by our house, that he apparently scared them off and then followed them around but they never left the neighborhood so he called the cops on the suspicious car but that I SHOULDN'T BE ALARMED. Ummm, okay, freaking out now. I'm home alone with two kids, I just watched a Zombie show the other night, and there was a strange car lirking outside my house. Did I mention ALL of the windows were open? ooo emmmm geeeee! needless to say I didn't sleep last night, but I'm still alive. No one came in the house to kill me. Although I am pretty sure it was probably a hilarious site to see me closing the windows. I felt like someone was going to reach through and grab me. And then I started thinking about how if I get kidnapped, who would update my facebook status and all that important jazz. I mean, I have stuff to do kidnappers, this is just not cool. Granted, I would have appreciated a day off work today, but come on, if you are going to kidnap me, do it on a monday, not this close to a weekend.

and just so you know, I TOTALLY appreciated my husband protecting me, I really do. I just informed him that next time, he can call the cops but please keep me in the dark. For real.

So happy that I'm here to blog and not in some dingy kidnapper's mom's basement trying to think of a way to get service on my iphone, silently cussing myself that I didn't ever upgrade my phone to the newest version, and wondering if I will finally lose weight since my kidnapper's probably won't feed me much. {And hoping that FH picks out a decent pic of me to put on the side of a milk caron}

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I'm Random and I Know It

Let's talk about random awkward moments for a moment, shall we?

That awkward moment when you're all like "Hey, I've got a lot of extra cash right now, I think I'll spend almost $200 on some Pink concert tickets for a birthday gift." and then two days later you find out you have to have a root canal that is going to cost $500. Awesome.

And then, instead of making that appointment for the root canal, you called to schedule an appointment with the hair dresser instead. My teeth may hurt but dang if it I'm gonna let my hair look bad.

How about that awkward moment when you high five the husband for doing the dishes last night while you are are working on a book report with the kids and you didn't even ask him to....and then you get said dishes out of the dishwasher and they STILL HAVE FOOD ON THEM?? Do men not know how to rinse dishes? Don't they know that you have to clean the dishes before they go in the dishwasher?
Awesome.
{I still super love you for doing it though Husband, and I don't take back my high five!}

That awkward moment when you decide you will watch The Walking Dead with your husband because he absolutely loves it but it scares the crap out of you. And then, as if you weren't already on pins and needles, your daughter {like 2 hours after going to bed} semi-sleepwalks into the living room and you think she is a zombie.

That awkward moment when your daughter says "I found pictures of you on the internet today." ummmm, what?! "Yeah, I just googled your name." {Thank goodness she just meant she found my blog.}

Which leads us to, that awkward moment when your 9 year old starts reading your blog....now I have to censor my thoughts a bit.
Awesome.

That awkward moment when every SINGLE time you log on to facebook, someone new is annoucing being knocked up and you are a tiny bit jealous because you aren't. And then you find out that your husband's dog is now knocked up.
Awesome.

That awkward moment when you are reading a series of vampire books and you are so into them that you decide you want someone to bite you on the neck.
Did I really just admit that? Awesome.

That awkward moment when your 4th grader has a math problem that you can't figure out. And you have two college degrees.
Awesome.

That awkward moment when your child has a book report and you really just want to tell her to go to bed and you will do it for her.
{If you are their teacher and you are reading, I didn't actually do this. #eventhoughIwastempted}

That awkward moment when your daughter asks what breast cancer is and you tell her it's a disease in your boobs....and you hear her go back and tell her sister: "it's not in your breast, it's in your boob!"
#FHthoughtthiswashilarious

That awkward moment when you celebrate Boss's Day with a potluck and your boss is off that day.

Okay, I guess that's all the awkward things that have happened to me lately, but it is an hourly thing so I'm sure there will be more.

Happy Wednes- {I need a freaking vacation}-Day!



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Don't you wish your daughter was hot like me?!

I just walked through the house and heard my daughter singing this song. True Story.

Thanks a lot little 3 chipmunk movie for teaching this song to my child.

At least she is creative and made it into her own song, should I be proud?

No, probably not.

I love her even if she sings songs such as this.

Thank goodness she wasn't alive when the Thong Song was popular, I can only imagine what she would turn that song into....

My kids are always entertaining. I love them so.

What else do I love? My iphone.

{yes, I'm sure it's totally normal to compare your love for your kids with your love for your phone. my life would stop if any of them went missing. this goes for you too husband.}

What's not to love about my iphone?

The cracked screen you say?

The fact that it is like 4 upgraded iphones away from the newest version?

The turtle like speed?

                               Y'all quit hatin' on my phone, yo!

Yes, I could get a new one, but I'm not trading it in.

           
 I mean, that's like putting your grandma, who is still  active, in the nursing home and going out and finding a younger, hipper one.

Would you do that to your grandma?

#shameonyou

No, but for real, I still have my dinosaur Zach Morris phone because I will not let my phone provider get the best of me!

I see you contract holder, I know what you are trying to do....

my contract doesn't end until February but I can upgrade now in October and get a new phone and sign a new contract.

You are just so sneaky with that tempting time delay to make me give in and just get a new phone instead of waiting so I can sign a new contract with a new place.....I see what you're doing and it won't work. {Hopefully}

Ok, but the moral of the story is that I luuuuurve my iphone pics.

Cause it's so easy and convenient to snap pics of stuff on the go.

It's been a long time since I did a photo dump on here and since we have a lot of catching up to do, let's get it on!

Loving my new wreath! So excited that I have a front porch to decorate for the holidays finally!

I slaved all day over painting this pumpkin!

Kate's artwork.

Alex just had to carve hers.

The girls painted their letters to their name so we could hang them on their wall. I was in charge of putting ribbon on them so they could hand, I'm not crafty AT ALL!
Case in point, I did the K backwards.....so her room looked like this for awhile:

Ate's room!!

We decided to have a fire one night, and FH mentioned going to buy firewood......poor city boy!! We went on a field trip to the woods and found us some free wood.















Kate's pants were falling so her sister had to help her. #thatslove



















The girls got a new phone and they are dying of excitement! It's only a go phone and meant for emergencies. But they ask me how they get new apps on it. Ha!



The girls and FH were playing hide and seek in the house. Kate found a dark room with an empty laundry basket and blended in great!




Well, that's all the photos I have for now....I'm off to catch up on work. Oh, also, I did a guest post here if you would like to check it out!

Happy Tuesday {Is it Friday yet?}!!

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It's Freakin' Friday Y'all!!

I'm leaving work in two hours. Holla!

Super excited to go shopping with my momma. Why? {you may ask}

My mom is the coolest mom ever.

Who else looks this freaking cute just to play in the snow?

**I may or may not have told my daughter to put her tongue on the pole like the kid in A Christmas Story....I said my mom was a great mom, not that I was....**

Or looks fashionable while shooting a bow and arrow?

Or meets one of my most favorite people in the whole wide world and sends their daughter a text to rub it in saying something along the lines of "eating lunch at Josh Pastner's house. nbd."

**for those of you who don't know, JP is the second love of my life. The coach of the University of Memphis basketball team. #gotigers Of course my first love is my handsome husband.

So, yeah, I'm pretty stoked about shopping with my momma. And you know that phrase "she get it from her momma"? Yeah, I didn't get her fashion sense, or her cute little figure. I'm pretty sure I got my dad's body type. #notcoolwhenyouareagirl

What else am I stoked about?

So glad that you asked.

I'm {hopefully} getting a new phone today.

My iphone is like a freaking 1G phone, like the first ever made. and just in case that wasn't bad enough, it's cracked in like 1,587,623 different places.

But it works. #praisetheLord {albeit slow}.

I am going to get a new service provider though and I'm afraid I'm going to lose ALL my pics from this phone so I have been scrolling through them reminiscing.

I found one that I just had to share.

I have put this on my blog before but it was back when I only had like four followers #likelastmonth

First, let me give you the story.

My daughter had on her school uniform and we were about to eat dinner. I told her she couldn't eat in her uniform. So being the lazy child that she is, she changed shirts, took off her skirt and just left her WHITE leggings on. If you are a mom then you know how impossible it is to keep any leggings clean, especially white ones.

So as we sat down at the dinner table, I insisted that she couldn't eat in her white leggings or she would ruin them. I walked into the kitchen to get something and came back to this:

Well, technically she did what I asked.

She took them off {mostly} and I about died laughing.

Cheers to smart kids.

At least she is creative.

Happy Friday lover faces!

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Chaps My Bum

You know what really chaps my bum?

{No, I don't really talk like that. It just seemed appropriate for some reason.}

I really hate when bloggers blog when they have nothing to say.

I have this one blogger that I follow, and absolutely love and she's really popular, but she straight up talks about nothing A LOT of the time. Obviously it's popular, cause she's doing great and has lots of followers, but the whole "I must post every single day no matter what" strategy just doesn't work for me.

But here I sit, wanting to blog, with nothing really much to say.

Lately I've been feeling unmotivated.

I don't know if it's the fact that I worked my butt off in September so I'm just exhausted and drained, but all I wanna do is go home and curl up in a ball and sleep.

I'm not motivated to work out, to work while I'm at work, to blog....what the crap is my deal?!

Tomorrow I'm working a half day and going shopping with my momma. That is SURE to be exciting. #nothinglikeretailtherapy

I'm super excited about the weekend though!

If it would ever get here.

I'm off work Monday for Columbus Day {I love working for the government.} and the girls are on fall break all week.

Which means NO HOMEWORK.

Hooray! {Does happy dance.}

You know what else is exciting?

This.

My high school friend is adopting for the third time and she is selling shirts to help raise money to bring her girl home.

How exciting is that?

I can't even imagine knowing that your child is out there in the world, you just can't get to her yet. I ordered a shirt and a cute little poster this morning. I try my best to avoid online shopping because sitting at a desk all day makes it especially dangerous.

Not to mention, I HATE waiting on a package, I'm not the most patient person.

But I wanted to help her bring her little girl home. Even though my little bit of money won't help much, I'm sure it adds up quickly.

So head on over here and check out the shirts. Make sure to tell her I sent you.

She also has a super cute shirt that says "Superman was Adopted" that I happen to love. Besides, what could be better than one click shopping? And justifying a purchase because you are bringing a little girl home to her forever Momma?

Happy Thursday Peeps!

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Hello Tuesday

I completely skipped Monday this week.

I deemed this acceptable since I spent {almost} the entire weekend at work. So I took off work on Monday and slept. And layed on the couch. And slept some more. And grocery shopped. And then slept again. It was a very productive day.

We did manage to have a little bit of fun this weekend though.

Friday night, we showed my BFF a new house. I'm hoping she buys it because it's really close to our house.

Here's the realtor and his stepdaughter hanging out while everyone is checking out the house.

                               **man my husband is hot!!**

Here's the movie the hot husband brought home for us to watch.

I'm pretty sure he caught the baby fever too.....

And guess who else has the baby fever? Well, these two big sister-wannabes. Although obviously one wants a girl and one wants a boy. And they are both dillusional if they think I will dress a baby in UT orange.

We also had some fun in Targe with halloween costumes

The last one kills me. That's one MEAN face on that evil super hero. #watchoutforsuperAlex

Oh, and I found the perfect costumes for me and FH. Except I'm not sure if we will be able to walk within ten feet of each other if we both have this on.

Modeling at Old Navy was fun. K&A were able to go a few seconds without talking {since they were mannequines} and that never happens.

Want to know the highlights of the weekend?

How about a freaking surprise check in the mail for $874?!?! That's a great way to start off a weekend if I do say so myself.

Apparently, I made a duplicate payment on my homeowners insurance so technically it's just a refund, but to me it was like finding money in your own pocket.....free money!!!

And another highlight?

This.

Yep, FH&I shared that. And it was totally worth it.

Good things happen when you get a surprise date night.

The girls went to a slumber party friday night so we got date night.

Apparently, slumber parties are exhuasting.

What a fun weekend we had!!! Now, I can't wait to have a weekend that involves no work......which should be this coming weekend. Hooray! #HallelujahforOctober

Happy Tuesday Peeps!

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