That's how I feel today.
No, I'm not sick.
Well, not physically. Maybe mentally.
Ok, that sounds kind of bad. I'm not mental, I swear.
I guess it's just a bad day.
If you know me, you know that I obsess over my weight.
I was thin {well, athletic} in high school and I thought I was fat.
I was thicker after I had kids and I thought I was fat.
If only that girl from back then could see me now......
The most frustrating part is, I know what to do. I know how to do it.
And I do do it. I eat right. I work out. I stay focused. I can resist temptation like a champ.
And then I get pissed.
Cause I'm not skinny suddenly.
I know I will probably get comments on this like how I have to be patient and I didn't get fat overnight so I'm not gonna get skinny overnight and blah, blah, blah.
But IT'S JUST SO DANG FRUSTRATING.
I'm pretty sure my husband would give his left arm for me to lose weight cause he knows it would make me happy.
He loves me the way I am, but I'm pretty sure sometimes he wants to tell me to just shutup about it already! {Love you husband.}
I wouldn't blame him.
I get annoyed with my obsessiveness too sometimes.
I have an all or nothing personality.
I am either doing great on a diet or I'm eating like a 400 lb sumo wrestler. Please give me a pizza covered in chocolate with white cheese dip on the side and a mocha frappe to drink. Hold the water.
I think my problem is that I seriously talk myself into a new mood.
I can get super pumped and think I'm gonna be a MILF by {insert any random future date here} and then 5 minutes later I am telling myself that eventually I want to have a baby so why torture myself now with dieting. It's a never ending battle.
What's that you say?
I'm a schizo?
It's possible.
Does the medicine that you get for that make you lose weight?
Cause I'll try it.
The moral of the story is I HAVE GOT TO GET SERIOUS.
LIKE SERIOUSLY SERIOUS.
I can do this. And I will do this tomorrow.
***Please report back again tomorrow to see if my mood has changed AGAIN. And smack the candy/junk food/whatever the crap is currently making my butt bigger outta my hand. Thank you and good day.***
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It's just one of those days....sorry, that's my inspiration for the day, lol. Trust me. It will pass and you will be pumped up and focused once again. Go home, let FH handle the homework questions and go for a run with some good music to clear your mind.
ReplyDeleteI am totally where you are at right now. I stayed up all last night torturing myself by looking at fitness and fashion boards on pinterest. Well, mostly torture but I was trying to motivate myself too! I am always making excuses too. I wish there was a motivation button you could push that would instantly send you into workout mode!
ReplyDeleteI think the medicine for that actually makes you gain weight... But I am not going to fault you for venting here on your blog! You write what you feel sista!!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Kara
ShawnKaraAndHeidi.blogspot.com
You sound a lot like me. I am black and white, all or nothing, balls to the wall or doughnuts to the face when it comes to weightloss. It is a very hard cycle to break but you can do it. First off start being a little easier on yourself and start writing down everything that you put in your mouth good, bad, or indifferent. You don't even have to count calories but OWN it. Then forgive yourself for your less than perfect days. Those days with little slips if nipped on the butt before they become a weeklong binge aren't gonna keep you from your goal. Like you said you know how to do this. Prove it to your inner fat toddler and maybe she will simmer down for a bit ;)
ReplyDeleteSmooches xx
Angela from fit camp
Www.lotsofwordslittlethought.blogspot.com
You can do it! That's what I tell myself every night when I set the alarm clock for 5am. Then, at 7am when I actually get up, I say tomorrow, but I've got to do it too.
ReplyDeleteWhat to do it together? :)
New follower from Followers to Friends. Hope to see you over.
~Danette
www.danettedillon.com
Hope you're feeling better today! I think we all have days like that.
ReplyDeleteFollowing you from The GFC Blog Hop, love if you could stop by At Home Take 2 and join us for the Weekend Blog Walk (hop) Friday afternoon. Hope to see you there!
Jessica
http://www.athometake2.com