If you know me, like really know me well, then you know that I don't cry much. If you go to a sad movie with me, and you are crying your eyes out, don't expect me to share the watery eyes. I just don't cry. I blame this on my past life. I ran out of tears in my past life. I cried and cried and cried, and then one day I decided I was done crying, and I moved on with my life. I usually crack jokes in sad movies, so you probably don't want to go to them with me. Just ask my friend Natalie. I had her rolling in laughter once when we watched The Titanic. Also, my favorite pastime as a child was crying. My brother nicknamed me "WH" which stood for Whiney Hiney. I'm pretty sure this nickname scarred me for life. The sad thing is that whenever he called me this name, I cried harder. I'm not completely against whining to get my way now, it can be pretty affective, but I don't see much point in crying. Not to mention, it's not very pretty.
Now, all that leads up to today, the day that I (along with help from a few of my great friends) picked out wedding music. I downloaded the songs on my phone and put on my headphones. Next thing I know, there's liquid rolling down my face. What is this?! My face was leaking. It wasn't an ugly cry, luckily I was able to stop it before my mascara ran or before a coworker noticed, but nevertheless, there were tears.
Those songs make it all so real. Yes, I know it's been real, and it's real soon too. But today it hit me. The man that I spent hours/days/years praying for, the man that I dreamed up in my mind, he was going to be standing at the end of the aisle waiting on me. I'm pretty sure at that point, I will see no one else. So forgive me if I don't look around the room and smile, because in that moment, nothing will matter. Just me and him.
My goal is to get FH to cry. I have big hopes. And he said he would bring Visine to make it look like he is crying if I really want him to. I mean a fake cry is better than no cry at all, right?! I desperately hope that the photographer gets a pic of him the moment he sees me, so I can overanalyze it later. But just in case she misses it, and you are in the "crowd", just snap a quick photo for me please. We can photoshop tears in later. Gotta love technology.
I'll probably have to talk to myself while I am walking down the aisle also. So if you see my lips moving, just ignore that. I might look like I am chanting curses on everyone, but that will not be the case. I know I will have to remind myself to walk slowly. I don't walk slowly anywhere. I'm a mom of twins, give me a break! I'm always in a hurry! And I will be in a huge hurry to get to my man, I'm tempted to get someone to hold a video camera and a stopwatch and time me, I'll carry my bouquet in a football hold. We can post it on Youtube and some other bride can try to top my pace. Everything is a competition in my life, don't you know?
Kate and Alex are walking me down the aisle. I'm excited about this. But poor Alex, she thinks the world revolves around her. I'm okay with tripping her if she starts acting like it is her show. I know that sounds harsh, but I have one free Bridezilla card and I haven't used it yet. Don't worry, I will help her up, and totally act like I have no idea how it happened. **Please note, if you are reading this when you are older Alex, I'm only joking. So if you actually fall down, I had nothing to do with it. Honest.**
I hope I don't have crocodile tears on the day of my wedding. There are no pockets in my wedding dress to hold a hankerchief. Not that I own a hankerchief. Nor am I really sure if I am spelling it correctly. Nevertheless, if I do cry, it will soon be forgotten by all. You know how I know? The bouquet toss will be epic. That is what people will leave my wedding talking about. You see, I have several friends that are close to the engagement point, but not there yet. It's normal for a bride in her early 20s to have lots of single friends, but we are all a bit more mature than that. Totally planned it that way, we were all working on our successful careers of course. I'm pretty sure there will be a brawl when I throw that thing. I can't wait to see how it goes down. I might even make sure I have a bonus one in order to stop a fight if there is one. What a fun time that will be!
I can't wait to be Mrs Michael Young!!!
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